I read an article once which claimed to know the current whereabouts of Tsar Nicholas II’s soul. And the answer was that it is in the body of David Beckham.

David Beckham is one lucky fella. He has won the leagues for all four clubs that he has played for – and not only won them, but on the final days of the seasons with each club. This would suggest some phenomenal fortune which is impossible to feign. He is slightly dim, notoriously, and his soul connection with Tsar would support this link. Tsar Nicholas was doomed due to his inability to run his country properly, and was well-known for his tactical naivety.

Xenia and her brother were particularly close compared to the other siblings. According to this theory his wife Victoria is now the reincarnation of his previous sister, the Grand Duchess Xenia.

The couple are famously one of the most solid unions in show business. When David Beckham decided she was the one, he was in a hotel room with his future best man, Gary Neville, watching the Spice Girls on his hotel television with the glee of a 90s straight man in the prime of his life! He turned to Gary, and said “I’m going to marry her.” When they first met at a Manchester United match David asked for her number and wrote replicas of the number on several pieces of paper so that he would not misplace the original copy.

What all of this information does is to eliminate the possibility that I will be able to glance at a celebrity magazine again without contemplating the depth and magnitude that the souls on those pages have experienced. Does a brutal murder equate to a blessed reincarnation in one’s future incarnation(s)? Does a powerful person have a place in the annals of history which they do not even realise? Do powerful people have a place in the future of humanity?


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